


Eat Doughnuts Not Pills

by ApplePieThatsFrickingWorthIt



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Brothers, Diego is a Good Brother, Doughnuts fix everything, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Mentions of drug/alcohol abuse, No Spoilers, Pre-Season/Series 01, Siblings, Vanya's book
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 17:34:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17985614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApplePieThatsFrickingWorthIt/pseuds/ApplePieThatsFrickingWorthIt
Summary: Diego runs into Klaus during a drugs bust. Rather than arrest his brother he takes him for doughnuts.Basically just a chat between pre series Diego and Klaus, mostly about Vanya's book.





	Eat Doughnuts Not Pills

**Author's Note:**

> I would die for Klaus to have one crumb of happiness. 
> 
> I wrote this on a crowded train instead of trying to do my university work idk what it is but enjoy.

The bell of Griddy's Doughnuts chimed loudly, the echo sounding hollow in the quiet of the night. 

“Oooh!” Klaus cooed as he entered. Number 4 clapped his hands in glee at the display of pastries. 

Diego followed him with a frown. He wasn’t really sure what he was doing. Not half a hour earlier he had been following a dealer, hoping for a bust, when who had sauntered into the alley but his very own brother. He was lucky his partner was so understanding or Klaus would be in a cell right now. Instead, here they were, Number 2 buying his junkie brother doughnuts.

***

They slid into a booth, Diego watching as his brother devoured his donut with the frenzy of a starving man. He probably was, Diego realised sadly, he doubted food was high on Klaus’s list of purchasing priorities.

“We used to come here as kids?” Klaus said, half a question, his mouth full.

“Yeah. Before...” Diego trailed off. He didn’t need to add ‘Before Five vanished. Before Ben died.’

“Funny, I guess that was probably the last time we did anything together. Outside the academy.” He thought aloud without realising.

“Jeez, that’s depressing.” Klaus said licking sprinkles off his dirty fingers. Diego grimaced, before pushing his doughnut towards Klaus. His brother’s eyes lit up. 

“For Moi?” He said, hand to his chest dramatically. 

“Yeah. You’re too skinny.” Klaus gasped.

“Did you just body shame me Diego!” He said in mock horror. 

Diego sighed; he forgot how impossible his brother was. 

“Shut up and eat, idiot.” He snapped. 

They sat in silence a moment as Klaus devoured the second doughnut, jam dripping down his chin. 

“Have you heard about Vanya’s book?” Diego said suddenly. Klaus perked up. 

“Sweet little Vayna? Good for her!” He said and Diego grimaced a little.

“It’s about us.” He added flatly.

Klaus seemed to consider this carefully a moment. 

“A shining review no doubt.” He said, stuffing the rest of the doughnut in his mouth and reaching for a third. He wasn’t sure when he had last eaten but his body told him it was a while ago.

“Yeah. Not so much.” 

“Well, at least someone is getting something positive out of our childhoods.” Klaus said, “Good for her...good for her.” He didn’t sound convinced by his own words.

Diego knew all Klaus was thinking about was what she had said about him; he had had the exact same response. He wished he hadn’t found out. 

“Did she write about this place?” Klaus asked and Diego stuttered a little.

“N-no. I don’t think so.” 

“Shame.” 

“Yeah...hey you remember that time Five dared you to eat a whole box of doughnuts.” Diego smiled. 

“Yeah and I did it.” Klaus looked as though it were his greatest achievement to date.

“Yeah, and then puked all over Luther.” Klaus shrugged. 

“He’s hard to miss.” He stated before muttering something to his left and giggling to himself. 

Diego smiled fondly; it had been very funny. 

He went back to sipping his coffee as Klaus reached towards the box again. Diego slapped his hand away. 

“It was funny when we were 12, it wouldn’t be funny now.” Diego warned and Klaus deflated slightly. 

“What are you wearing by the way?” He asked, changing the subject.

“Oh this old thing? Why, you like it?” 

Klaus was debuting a rainbow mesh top - at least two sizes too small for his torso - neon pumps and a studded mini skirt. Diego frowned.

“Are you even wearing underwear?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know” He teased.

“Ugh, Klaus!” Klaus cackled with laughter. 

***

He was starting to get twitchy, Diego noticed. It was a unwelcome dose of reality. 

“Klaus.” He said, suddenly serious. “Are you...” He faltered.

“Ugh Diego! We were having such fun!” Klaus complained, fingers twitching unconsciously at his neck. 

“Just tell me the truth.” 

“No! Thanks to you anyway. Jeff’s a real good guy you know.” 

“I’ll be sure to pass that on to the Judge when we prosecute him for drug dealing.” Diego muttered. 

Klaus sighed dramatically, slumping in his chair in a sulk. 

“Klaus...I can’t just let you go back to the streets, you know that. It wouldn’t be right, as a officer or...” he paused, “...as a brother.” 

“Oh don’t worry it’s all fine with me, I don’t mind the gutter honestly.” He said as if they were arguing over who had to sleep on a couch. 

“Klaus. I want to check you into Rehab.” 

“Diego!” He whined like a child, the way he had done in this place when they were 12, and Luther had decided it time to go home. 

“I don’t want the next time I find you to be dead in a gutter Klaus.” Diego said, trying to hide how much this thought scared him. 

“I won’t! I’m very good now! I know when to stop!” 

“Klaus you have never known that. Doughnuts, remember.” 

“Shut up Ben!” Klaus snapped without warning.

It always took Diego aback when Klaus did this. He was never sure whether to believe their dead brother was really there or just a product of Klaus’ drugged up mind. 

“Ben would agree with me, yes?” Diego pushed. It was risky, Ben wasn’t a subject brought up lightly. 

“Ben doesn’t get a say.” He said, before addressing his side again. “No! This is bullying, you know! Peer pressure!” 

“Klaus.” Diego said softly. His brother sighed, falling silent of a moment. He seemed to be listening to the space next to him. He rolled his eyes, sighed deeply before throwing his hands up in defeat. 

“Fine! On one condition.” 

“What?”

“I get the last doughnut.” He said, pointing to the rainbow sprinkles. Diego sighed heavily.

“Fine, whatever, your funeral bro.” He said, shoving the pastry towards his brother. He didn’t know where he put it all.

***

Diego finished his coffee in silence, neither of them looking forward to moving from their booth. But it had to happen eventually. 

Diego kept Klaus in front of him the whole time, not trusting his brother not to try and slip away. When he pulled Klaus out of the back seat he could feel him shaking, in anticipation or from withdrawal he wasn’t sure. 

“You know, Diego -“

“No barging Klaus. You agreed.” 

Diego kept one firm arm on Klaus’s elbow. The woman behind the counter knew Klaus, who waved her his ‘Hello’ hand with a smile. God his brother’s life was depressing. 

Just before Klaus was led away, Diego pulled out a book from under his arm.

“For you. I thought you have a right to know what she wrote.” He said, feeling sheepish. Klaus looked at it for a moment, his sister’s 13 year old face staring up at him from the cover. 

“Thanks Diego.” He said quietly, taking the book. 

“Yeah, no problem, man.” He coughed awkwardly. “Look, stay out of trouble yeah?” He said. He knew it was futile, Klaus would always be Klaus, but he had to at least pretend to himself. His brother’s eyes twinkled a little, 

“Oh you know me Diego, I’ll be good as gold!” 

***

Diego left feeling helpless. The silence too loud without his brothers blabbering to fill it. He shook his head, pushing the feeling down, like he always had done. He drove off into the night trying not to think of his siblings. 

He wouldn’t see any of them again for a long time.


End file.
